55) Gotdammit, not the chicken!

'Bout to eat a nigga food!.. 

If you hear these words, 9 times out of 10 you will see blood afterwards. After the Bitches Love Me incident, The first words Gold T said to me were, "I heard you ate a nigga's food." Basically what it means is doing bodily harm to a person. One of the worst things that can happen in prison is to have someone take something from you and you do nothing about it. If they take something off of your chow tray, they are showing the utmost disrespect for you. Hence
the phrase, "eat a nigga food." A week ago we had fried chicken for lunch. I was one of the first inmates to the chow hall. I got my tray, took a seat, poured on a little hot sauce and was right about to dig in when Chubb showed up and took the chicken right out of my hand. To add insult to injury, the mother fucker Chubb had the nerve to say, "good looking nigga." My whole crew looked at me like, "nigga you better do something!" (That Brooklyn bullshit, believe me they on it!) I had to explain to them the deal I made with Chubb, because my niggas would have been looking at me like I was food. 

The fucked up part is Chubb caught my ass again about 4 days ago. My main man Black,
from Flatbush had just handed me the last couple of boxes of Frosted Flakes for breakfast. I poured them in my bowl and was just about to add my milk when this nigga Chubb shows up out of nowhere like a magician (Chubbdini).... Cereal gone and I'm mad as a mother fucker! Right then and there I decide that I'm not going to give Chubb the pleasure of confiscating shit from me again. For the last few days I have not eaten any meat other than fish. Baked fish from the chow hall and canned fish from commissary. I've only drank water, no soda, no juice, no milk. No bread, no pasta no rice. My whole diet consist of fresh fruit and veggies from the chow hall, water and fish.

The second whole day with out eating meat must have knocked my body out of whack, because as soon as the cell doors opened I told Fraction to get the fuck out. What I deposited into the toilet was not from this world. I had to keep looking into the toilet to see if I shitted out a major organ. And the smell! People on the third tier were telling me to give them a courtesy flush.
The consistency of the shit was that of runny oatmeal and I dropped enough into the toilet to fill up Gatorade bottle. After a shit like that, toilet paper was not going to do. I jumped into the shower and after about 5 minutes I noticed something different about my body. I can't really explain it, but it was like my whole body took a deep breath and let it out. I've started to carry a roll of toilet paper on me whenever I leave the unit. I definitely don't want to get caught in one of my shit storms with out it. I'm starting to despise Chubb right about now.

1 comment:

  1. Ha haaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

    Only you can make taking a dump a topic of creative writing.

    You rawk, Michael.