52) BALLING!!!

It's been 2 days since the Bitches Love Me incident and I've noticed that Budd has been avoiding me. 

The good news is that Killer Boom said I'm straight and not to worry. Word came back that Bitches Love Me was a federal informant. A nigga in the hole, from Avalon Crips sent paperwork to the yard that said Bitches Love Me had testified against him in open court. There is nothing lower on the totem pole  than a informant and a chomo, and it's open season on all of them. 

A kid name Freeway Rick wants to have a word with me. What for I don't know. I asked Chub about him and he said that this nigga was balling on a legendary level.  "Those little kilos you copped was crumbs. Rick was on some metric ton shit." I'm suppose to meet him at the library after chow tonight. I'll let you know what's up.

51) R-E-S-P-E-C-T

People are looking at me differently now...

Truth be told, I'm ashamed at what I did to Bitches Love Me. I'm horrified at what this place is making me become, but I refuse to be a victim to anyone. The good news is that we were only locked down for the remainder of the day and not one person in the unit that witnessed what happen said a word to

the powers that be. For all of our differences, Black, White, Mexican and other we all have a common enemy... The correctional officers. The bad news is that we now know that the cameras in Killer-K don't work. I'm expecting a lot more stabbings and fights since this has come to light. Gold-T told me I did the right thing. He said making an example out of any nigga that crosses the line is mandatory. Maybe, but how many examples before my 10 year sentence turns into a 40 year sentence? I just want to go home in one piece. There is a white dude in Killer-K that was sentenced to a 3 year sentence. He got caught up during the, "Crack Riots" and killed a mother fucker that came at him with a shank. The courts found him guilty of murder and threw the library at him. The fucked up part is that less than a year later his 3 year sentence was overturned due to new evidence. I can only imagine how this nigga feels. I don't want that to be me.

I overheard two Aryans talking about Bitches Love Me. They were laughing that the blacks were making it so much easier for them. I think this hurt me more than anything.

I had to have a sit down with Killer Boom, because Bitches Love Me is a Cali

nigga. I told Killer Boom exactly what happen and he said he'd talk to his people. If the talk doesn't go good I could be in some serious shit. My core crew of Brooklyn niggas is only 30 deep. I know my niggas will hold me down, but we are so out numbered here in Lompoc, California. I keep thinking about the last scene in the movie, "American Me." I don't want to go out like that.


Me and Bitches Love Me (yeah that's his name) got into beef today. 

I was hooking my afternoon meal up, getting ready for "The Young And The
Restless" when the nigga tripped out on me. I was warming up a Cup of Noodles when Bitches Love Me approached me bugging out. His beef? He said that he had his food on top of the microwave and that his shit was next to go in. I told him his shit was sitting there for damn near hour. (actually it was more like 30 minutes, but come on on!) Bitches Love Me started talking real loud, "Bitch ass New York niggas. Ya'll ain't running shit around here." By now a small crowd of about 7-8 mother fuckers start playing looky-loo. I already have a fat man complex and in my mind I'm thinking, "this nigga trying to test me." If I let this bull shit slide every mother fucker and their step child is gonna try to test me too. Time to nip this shit n the bud. "Fuck you nigga!" "You ain't gonna bust a grape!" That's all I said. Bitches Love Me, replies... "Aw'ight nigga." That's it... "aw'ight nigga." But the way he said it... it was like, "watch your back, mother fucker!" I get my Cup of Noodles and my can of tuna and bounced to the "TV room". All the while I'm watching, The Young And The Restless I keep thinking about what this nigga, Bitches Love Me said and the words are eating at me. I've got to do something. I walk out of the "TV room" downstairs to the flats and there is Bitches Love Me, posted at the TV watching music videos. He's sitting less than 5 feet away from my cell when it hits me.... "What would Napoleon Bonaparte do?" I think Napoleon would strike first and let the cards fall where they may. I walked into my cell, grabbed my big coffee cup and filled it with baby oil. I took the cup to the microwave placed it inside and set it for 11 Minutes. When the timer went off I called to C-Rat who was sitting next to Bitches Love Me. When he came over I told him that Red and Ant were watching a bikini contest in the TV room. C-Rat took off at light speed. I saw officer Brown on the third tier frisking an inmate. As she entered the cell to perform her shakedown  I walked up to Bitches Love Me and
didn't hesitate. As soon as the oil hit the side of his face he let out a scream that I will never forget. I could actually see the flesh melting from his face. Some of the oil must have went inside his ear because he slapped at his ear several times before slipping on the oil puddle. That's when I started stomping him. I stomped him until Doc grabbed me and said, "that's enough! "Don't kill'em youngster, you don't want to kill'em!" We've been locked down ever since. It's just a matter of time before the guards come get me. I feel terrible for what this place has made, but I have to survive. I'm coming home in one piece no matter what.


Last week I decided that I needed to lose a few pounds...

My black ass is fat! The real reason I want to get my "healthy on" is because image is everything in the pen. There was a fight in the chapel Monday. A young black kid got his ass kicked bad. After the guards came they made every inmate in the chapel remove their shirts. (They were looking for cuts, scratches or bruises.) I got a real good look at my body and your boy is on busted status. Even my man Gold-T took a jab at me. Of course it was good natured, but it stung none the less. So I had a talk with an older Crip named, Chubb. Chubb and I are pretty cool and this nigga is ripped to perfection. His abdominal muscles are so well defined that his 12 pack abs are displayed prominently. (No homo.) So who better to get health tips from? Chub started me out on a walking regimen. 2 to 4 miles of walking twice a day 6 days a week. I was out doing my power walk thing when I saw him. "Him" being KK. KK is from my hood in Brooklyn. His younger brother and I were good friends in grade school. KK always had the freshest gear and the dopest cars. All the girls were on his dick back then. When I was about 10 years old my school (Nativity St. Peter Claver) had something like a "scared straight program." What this program did was take at risk kids an expose them to life in jail. It was suppose to scare you into staying on the straight and narrow road. The jail they took us to was Rikers Island.
I admit I was nervous as we pulled in, but when they took us to an actual cell block that's when I felt fear. Even though the inmates were locked in their cells our group of 40 students were in shock. The inmates were cursing, yelling and banging on their cell doors. A couple of kids started to cry. It got so bad that we could barely hear the guard speaking. That's when I heard a voice yell out, "Little Mike! Little Mike!" I looked to my left and there was KK looking out of his cell smiling. I spoke to KK and he called out to somebody else. By the time we made it to the end of the tier I saw three cousins, one uncle and a nigga that lived in the apartment below me. So much for being scared. It was more like a family reunion.

Somehow word got out about my journal. People are walking up to me introducing themselves and telling me their stories. The first couple of people that introduced themselves to me heard about my, "journal." The next few people said they heard I was writing a "magazine article" then it went to a "book" to a "TV series" and today it's a "motion picture."
They seem so excited when I pull out my pen and pad and listen to their story that I've decided to let them believe. I hope it doesn't backfire....