51) R-E-S-P-E-C-T

People are looking at me differently now...

Truth be told, I'm ashamed at what I did to Bitches Love Me. I'm horrified at what this place is making me become, but I refuse to be a victim to anyone. The good news is that we were only locked down for the remainder of the day and not one person in the unit that witnessed what happen said a word to

the powers that be. For all of our differences, Black, White, Mexican and other we all have a common enemy... The correctional officers. The bad news is that we now know that the cameras in Killer-K don't work. I'm expecting a lot more stabbings and fights since this has come to light. Gold-T told me I did the right thing. He said making an example out of any nigga that crosses the line is mandatory. Maybe, but how many examples before my 10 year sentence turns into a 40 year sentence? I just want to go home in one piece. There is a white dude in Killer-K that was sentenced to a 3 year sentence. He got caught up during the, "Crack Riots" and killed a mother fucker that came at him with a shank. The courts found him guilty of murder and threw the library at him. The fucked up part is that less than a year later his 3 year sentence was overturned due to new evidence. I can only imagine how this nigga feels. I don't want that to be me.

I overheard two Aryans talking about Bitches Love Me. They were laughing that the blacks were making it so much easier for them. I think this hurt me more than anything.

I had to have a sit down with Killer Boom, because Bitches Love Me is a Cali

nigga. I told Killer Boom exactly what happen and he said he'd talk to his people. If the talk doesn't go good I could be in some serious shit. My core crew of Brooklyn niggas is only 30 deep. I know my niggas will hold me down, but we are so out numbered here in Lompoc, California. I keep thinking about the last scene in the movie, "American Me." I don't want to go out like that.


Me and Bitches Love Me (yeah that's his name) got into beef today. 

I was hooking my afternoon meal up, getting ready for "The Young And The
Restless" when the nigga tripped out on me. I was warming up a Cup of Noodles when Bitches Love Me approached me bugging out. His beef? He said that he had his food on top of the microwave and that his shit was next to go in. I told him his shit was sitting there for damn near hour. (actually it was more like 30 minutes, but come on on!) Bitches Love Me started talking real loud, "Bitch ass New York niggas. Ya'll ain't running shit around here." By now a small crowd of about 7-8 mother fuckers start playing looky-loo. I already have a fat man complex and in my mind I'm thinking, "this nigga trying to test me." If I let this bull shit slide every mother fucker and their step child is gonna try to test me too. Time to nip this shit n the bud. "Fuck you nigga!" "You ain't gonna bust a grape!" That's all I said. Bitches Love Me, replies... "Aw'ight nigga." That's it... "aw'ight nigga." But the way he said it... it was like, "watch your back, mother fucker!" I get my Cup of Noodles and my can of tuna and bounced to the "TV room". All the while I'm watching, The Young And The Restless I keep thinking about what this nigga, Bitches Love Me said and the words are eating at me. I've got to do something. I walk out of the "TV room" downstairs to the flats and there is Bitches Love Me, posted at the TV watching music videos. He's sitting less than 5 feet away from my cell when it hits me.... "What would Napoleon Bonaparte do?" I think Napoleon would strike first and let the cards fall where they may. I walked into my cell, grabbed my big coffee cup and filled it with baby oil. I took the cup to the microwave placed it inside and set it for 11 Minutes. When the timer went off I called to C-Rat who was sitting next to Bitches Love Me. When he came over I told him that Red and Ant were watching a bikini contest in the TV room. C-Rat took off at light speed. I saw officer Brown on the third tier frisking an inmate. As she entered the cell to perform her shakedown  I walked up to Bitches Love Me and
didn't hesitate. As soon as the oil hit the side of his face he let out a scream that I will never forget. I could actually see the flesh melting from his face. Some of the oil must have went inside his ear because he slapped at his ear several times before slipping on the oil puddle. That's when I started stomping him. I stomped him until Doc grabbed me and said, "that's enough! "Don't kill'em youngster, you don't want to kill'em!" We've been locked down ever since. It's just a matter of time before the guards come get me. I feel terrible for what this place has made, but I have to survive. I'm coming home in one piece no matter what.