18) DOUBTS


Got out the cell for about ten minutes today... 

The goon squad started cell shakedowns early this morning. When Rob and I returned to our cell it had been turned upside down. It seems as if the guards decided to open our lockers and dump all of the contents out onto the floor. They also confiscated 15 books of stamps from Rob. Apparently we are only allowed a max of five books per person. I know Rob is pissed because he had just won a major sports bet. Oh well, shit happens.
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I got mail today. My people sent me three hundred dollars. Perfect timing, because these Gilligan's Island type sneakers they give us are not working. Trust me, bobos and flat feet do not go together.
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I'm depressed. I feel as if my life is over. I'm angry, because the world is going on without me. How am I going to do ten years without going crazy?
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My niece sent me a drawing in the mail. I think I'll hang it up. Every time I look at it I have to smile. It makes me happy.


17) A CHILD IS BORN


My cell door opened too early this morning...

Rob and I were up immediately. Rob walked to the cell door and said that only our cell was open. The guards called my name loudly, before they even made it to my cell. I'm thinking it's about the guard that got killed. Hell, they have cameras all over the prison. I'm sure those camera caught me witnessing the whole incident. Two guards came to my cell and told me to cuff up. I asked them, "What is this about?" but they just told me to cuff up. As I got dressed I got my story straight in my head... "I ain't see shit!" No matter what they say, "I ain't seen shit!"
As the guards cuffed me in the doorway I could see faces peeking out of every cell. The god, Supreme Mathematics was yelling out from the top tier. "Yo Hype, tell'em you want to take a witness with you." That made a lot of sense. The last thing I want is to be perceived as a snitch. So, I put on my Johnny The Homicidal Maniac face and told the guard, " If ya'll not taking me to the hole, I ain't leaving the unit without a witness." The guard was cool about it and told me to, "Pick somebody quick." I chose the god Mathematics. The guards opened Mathematics cell and told him to cuff up. 


We left Killer-K and made our way towards the wardens office. (I assumed this is where I would be questioned at.)  I slowed down as we approached the office, but the guards told me to, "keep it moving Emanuel." Mathematics said that if they take us to the chapel someone in my family has probably died. I don't know why the nigga would say something like that, but at that moment I became scared. My Grandmother is the bond that holds my family together. She's pretty old and this ten year bid ain't help her health none.
"Yep, going to see the chappy,nigga." That's just how Mathematics said it. My stomach is doing cartwheels at this time and I'm feeling a lil light headed. The guards walked us right up the stairs to the chaplain's office. The chaplain was seated at his desk and told us to take a seat. I didn't even have a chance to ask the Chaplain what was up when the phone rang. The chaplain put the phone on speaker and I heard a voice ask for Michael Emanuel. I was too nervous to answer. Mathematics gave me a lil nudge and I found my voice. As it turns out it was a hospital. The woman that I had been with prior to getting locked up had just given birth to a baby boy... I was a father.
His name?.... RHAQIL JAMAR CAMBELL.

As soon as we got back to the unit Mathematics told the whole unit, "Hype's a father, Yo!" Talk about putting a nigga on front street. He even sent me a cigar. I ain't talking 'bout one them Black & Mild joints either. I'm talking 'bout a real deal $4 cigar. 

I still can't believe I'm a father.